Hot chocolate. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. I am always ready for something sweet like you. What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate? If you cant eat all your chocolate, it will keep in the freezer. John Travolta, Dont wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. The bank of friendship cannot exist for long without deposits of chocolate. He turned into a box of chocolates. Why does the jellybean go to school? Seven days without chocolate makes one weak. Required fields are marked *. With these dirty chocolate jokes, youll make your lady smile. Patrick Skene Catling. He rubbed it and out popped a genie, who gave the man three wishes. You definitely taste better than chocolate. "You mean J.C? Tootsie Trolls. Babe, I don't think there's anything hotter than chocolate, until I met you. Round at the bottom, skinny at the top. Ted, Queer Eye For The Straight Guy, Fruit of all the kinds that the country produced were laid before him; he ate very little, but from time to time a liquor prepared from cocoa, and of an aphrodisiac nature, as we were told, was presented to him in golden cups I observed a number of jars, above fifty, brought in, filled with foaming chocolate of which he took some Bernal Diaz del Castillo, member of Corts force, describing a meal of emperor Montezuma, 1519, Let us celebrate our agreement with the adding of chocolate to milk. I dont know babe but I think my love for you is enough to stop your cravings for sweet. You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. Dr. Bachot, 1662. My dear, how will you ever manage? I cant resist to use my tongue in eating this ice cream just like I cant when Im eating you. One large, ongoing study of the benefits of exercise found that men who eat chocolate in moderation live longer than those who eat none. Did You Catch These Adult Jokes In Kids Movies? - BuzzFeed The optimist sees the glass as half full. Can you fit any more Milky Way Chocolate Bars into your desk drawer there, Jim? Q: Why dont they make white M&Ms? The 90+ Best Chocolate Jokes - Worst Jokes Ever A: He threw out the Ws. Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. It will not make you pregnant. You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. Im sure chocolate lovers like thesefunny chocolate jokes! If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Danny Tanner was great, but Bob Saget loved working blue. Why not! Are you chocolate pudding, because I want to spoon you all night long. Does your dad own a chocolate factory? Somehow Im just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.I dont like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. What do you call a cow with a stutter that makes chocolate milk? Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. He had a chip in his tooth. Dont you think you have got to check if you have diabetes? 60+ Chocolate Puns That Will Justify Your Chocolate Addiction Chocolate Ice Cream [rec.humor.funny] What kind of bar is kid-friendly? Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! Are you Kit Kat, because I am going to break you and eat you. What did the Hersheys bar, the marshmallow, and the cookie use to communicate? Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. 147 Chocolate Pick Up Lines [Funny, Dirty, Cheesy] Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but women sure can! Friend 2: Can't, I'm not black. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. Copy This. Bad knees.. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. If chocolate is the answer, the question is irrelevant. Are you a chocolate bar? Imogen life without chocolate! Because you are the sweetest. Baby you satisfy me like only chocolate could. Babe you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. You can use them to display text, links, images, HTML, or a combination of these. - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Whos there? Not only that, aside from being delicious and beneficial, it can also be hilarious. Oh damn I never knew having you would give me the good kind of cavities. They had a baby, Ruth. Tap To Copy. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. Are you a chocolate bunny, because I want to nibble on your ears first than eat you full. There was a convertible. How do you know it's cold outside? Seduced by the chocolate side of the Force. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. Why not get started now? Deborah Fox-Rothschild. Which is the clumsiest candy bar? Health Baron Justus von Liebig (1803-1873), German chemist, The superiority of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has in Spain. 55 Ice Cream Jokes That Will Make You and Ice Scream! - Ponly 50 Best Elf Jokes Funny Elf Jokes for Kids - Parade: Entertainment Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. But you have no chocolate! But if you cant eat all your chocolate, whats wrong with you? Have you seen all jokes? I heard you are a chocolate lover I guess we are compatible darling. No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. What is the meaning of life? Were like hot chocolate and marshmallows. Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! ao! ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. Because you are the only one that can satisfy me. Ben Strohecker, chocolatier. Because I would like one kiss from you. You and me are the perfect batch. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? What you see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate. I am craving for you more than I am craving for hot chocolate. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. ( Chocolate Jokes & Candy Jokes) What does the Grinch eat for dessert?. Well, jokes about chocolate can be funny or at least mildly amusing. Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). Friend 2: Well, untill you live, you could go to Africa, and after you die, say to God that you've already been to hell. What kind of candy bar does an employee crave before the weekend? Miranda Ingram, All I really need is love, but a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt! Id give up chocolate, but Im no quitter. You make everybody happy like a sweet food. What do you get when you dip a kitten in chocolate? 4. We have a fun collection of friendly and delicious jokes, riddles, and puns about chocolate that are clean and safe to use. Furtiveness makes it better. Its also not funny to cry over chocolate milk spilled! The man says, "And the Viagra?" Mom: Fred, there were two chocolate cakes in the larder yesterday, and now theres only one. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. A: Because it lost its filling Everyone will be happy when they see them, as they will raise their moods. Chocolate is a divine, celestial drink, the sweat of the stars, the vital seed, divine nectar, the drink of the gods, panacea and universal medicine. It was all I could do to hold the Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! 3 Musketeers! While he waits, the penguin goes to an ice cream shop and orders a big sundae to pass the time. Hes a chocolate lab. I can't help but laugh a little when I see a pun about chocolate bars snickers. A guy will actually search for a golf ball. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. Huh?I opened a Mars bar once.I discovered martians love gin.Life is like a box of chocolatesMostly disappointing.A seven-year-old is sitting on a park bench eating a chocolate bar.The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you.The boy looks over and responds, My great grandfather lived to be 105.The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate?No, says the boy. You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate?He drank it before it was cool.What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate?A Kit Kat bar.What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar?I just stepped foot on Mars.What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship?A chocolate chip Wookie.Whats the suns favourite chocolate bar?A Milky Way.Whats the opposite of chocolate?Choco-EARLY.What do you call stolen cocoa?Hot chocolate.Whats an astronauts favourite chocolate?A Mars bar.What fruit loves chocolate?A coco-nut.Why did the M&M go to University?Because he wanted to be a Smartie.What happens before it rains chocolate?It sprinkles.What do you call a cow with a stutter?Cacao. What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate? #3. Lindt.A man said to the chocolate maker, Are you a magician?No, said the chocolate maker, but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve.Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. Boy I can make you melt in my mouth and in my hand like chocolate. Chocolate mousse! Imogen. What do you call a womanising chocolate? A Bounty-ful! What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? There was a million dollars. Cadburies have announced theyre going into administration. Despite their hard and often seemingly thankless work, elves have a great sense of . Imogen who? I want to go to heaven when I die! (Grandparent Jokes & Dog Jokes) Why was the Grinch afraid of Santa Claus?. With labored breath, he leaned against the door, gazing into the kitchen. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Apparently, Cadburys is making an oriental chocolate bar. You look like you could use some hot chocolate Well, I got some sweet white chocolate. Egg Jokes. Of course, the same arguments can as persuasively be made in favor of dirt. I'm chocolate to my appointment! The police chased him around and finally caught him by the organ. My day got sprinkled with love! They went in and the jamaican said to the cashier " yuh want to see a magic trick?" Its nice that if I want something sweet I wont ever have to hold back cause I have you. Hope this means the naked man was near the organ that's used to play Sunday hymns. Its strengthening, restorative, and apt to repair decayed strength and make people strong. Hot fudge fills deep needs. I do recommend a piece of good-quality dark chocolate as a healthy snack . A chocolate shake. Want to come with me? A chocolate chip cutie! The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". - You can GET chocolate. Your email address will not be published. Thats why Ive collected a list of best chocolate jokes for you. A cad-bury. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather; perverted is when you use the whole bird. Fred: I dont know. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. Babe can I get a cookie that tastes like you? Better late than never, right? Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! Why a carrot as a logo? "I will grant you three wishes," says the genie. 1. The other watches your snatch. Such things are not going to affect ones lifebut 1932 the Mars Bar and 1936 Maltesers and 1937 the Kit Kat these dates are milestones in history and should be seared into the memory of every child in the country. Whether you like it dark, milk, or white, there is something so satisfying and decadent about enjoying some chocolate.But aside from being delicious, chocolate can also be funny. If there is a food that tastes like you I would definitely get a supply of those forever. Chalk-o-late! We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". A Payday 130 Best Dirty Jokes of All-Time [2023 Update] Hey baby, want to have some fun with me along with some chocolate tonight? Kuhtuhluh Report. Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Chocolate is not a matter of life and death its more important than that! To return Click Here. Candy! What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? T-Shirts & Bumper Stickers Hahaha They're better at it than guys. If you are interested in more jokes and puns, take a look at Cookie Puns and Baking Puns. Your email address will not be published. But if you're bold enough to deliver a punchline, you deserve the laughs it'll earn you. I will grant you three wishes, says the genie.For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol. The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds. The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me. For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.PETA is like a box of chocolates.They kill dogs.Someone told me there was caffeine in chocolate.If thats true, then why has my dog been asleep for so long, huh?Life is like a box of chocolates.The fatter you are, the shorter it lasts.My uncles joke he just came up with: What are chocolates preferred pronouns?Her, She.They recently found a mummy in Egypt covered in chocolate and nuts.They think it was pharaoh rocher.Why should you always melt chocolate over boiling water?Because if you try and melt it under boiling water, youll die.Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is quite unrealistic but at least they got one thing rightThe moment Charlie found that ticket all the scalpers started coming out.I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy.