This rule should apply to all conversations, especially if your goal is to get your child talking so … Let everyone take turns making up questions and have fun. Sometimes getting the conversation going at the dinner table can take a little effort and creativity. Hearing what your kids consider a high point and what they consider a low point can provide a lot of insight into their lives and act as a conversation starter. Answer: Look at your child and make eye contact if you can. Not only did she give you her number, but she’s also happily texting you. I’m having such a great day, especially now that you’ve messaged me!”. The better you can answer how your day has been and lead into a complete conversation, the better. How to answers to common English questions with pictures and video. Meanwhile, "Would You Rather" is a fun way to interact with one another by using absurd questions like "Would you rather drink one jar of pickle juice or smell like a dill pickle for a week?" After a long day of doing seemingly everything, when our partners get home it kind of becomes a habit to ask, "How was your day? . 2017;58(1):46–54. Please stop asking people "How was your day?" Being a good listener shows your child that you are present and that you are interested in them. If you don't say anything else, though, it might be a signal that you don't want to continue the conversation. What do you do to get rid of stress? Far from a conversation starter, it’s uninspired, overwhelmingly open ended, and frankly, completely boring. Instead of asking a generic question (like “How was your day?”), mix it up a bit. So long as you aren’t replying insanely fast or slow, you’re in the clear. Between these and the sea of arbitrary rules around every move and message, it can be challenging. There’s one important thing I want you to remember here. Part of it has to do with the fact that they do not have to make eye contact with you unless they want to while sharing information. Remember, she wants to learn something about you, too. Elizabeth McGrory is a certified professional coach who offers life and career coaching for working moms. You should not only listen to your child's words, but you should also pay attention to what isn’t being said. It's a good idea to refrain from probing for more information than your child or teen wants to offer. It can be as simple as this: Me: “That totally counts. If you are doing something that cannot be interrupted, ask if you can talk in 15 minutes and then follow through with your promise. “What’s your story?” “Wha… Do you have any questions for me about your day? If you could pick three friends to play with/hang out with, who would they be and why? You might be excited to have a message from her but try to resist being over the top when you respond. Many of the dating sites out there have so many rules around each and every interaction, it … Neither of these facts are to be taken lightly. Also try: When you are traveling in the car or sitting at the dinner table with your child, this is considered captured time, when your child is likely open to talking because there are limited distractions. There are no rules as to what the questions can or can't be about. He starts the conversation by asking about your day because that is the polite thing to do. This is a recurring theme in my articles for a reason. They are making an effort to share with you, and you want to do what you can to encourage this type of conversation. or "What was the kindest thing you saw at school today?". Instead, think of it as a less awkward version of saying, “Hi, please talk to me”. “Awesome.” Getting better. McAdams TA, Rijsdijk FV, Narusyte J, et al. J Child Psychol Psychiatry. Do Your Kids Have What It Takes to Cope With Bullying? In a way, this is her gently reaching out to you so she can’t be rejected. And in response, they receive the standard one-word answer like "fine" or "good." Getting your head in the right place and building genuine self-confidence is most of the battle in dating. How were you brave today? A little unexpected, but still fairly common. Even if that’s true, it’s best to cool it for now. or Did you have a good day? In this article, I’m going to break down some key points here so you can focus on the right things. This week, we’re considering the things that we say – especially the questions that we ask – when we see someone we know well at the end of a day at work, college or school, etc. How was your day? For this reason, some parents find that using a family fun night or conversation games like "High/Low" or "Would You Rather?" If you are busy or preoccupied every time they want to talk to you, then you will likely get the same response from them when you reach out about their day. This answer is formal. One of the first ways that a guy tests your affections for him is to get you used to speaking to him, and then stop suddenly. one day, and "what are you learning about in gym class?" Seguing this question into an effective conversation is something we’ll get to soon. You consult your friends regarding what to say him next to keep the flow of the conversation alive. But that also doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to connect on some level. You want to be sure your kids know you are available to them. In a rush to connect in a limited amount of time, many parents default to asking the standard "How was your day?" Introducing yourself to a stranger or approaching an acquaintance might seem anxiety-inducing, but it shouldn’t be. What was your least favorite part of the day? It may seem like the moments when you can learn about your school-age child's day or have a meaningful conversation with your teen are few and far between. on another. These tips will help you foster rich and positive exchanges: Don’t interrupt. Not bad. You’ve been so excited to see him and ask, “How was your day?” He responds with, “Good.”… What is the most important thing you learned today. What is one creative thing you did today? 7. Turn down the radio. ...Because conversation is an art form, with words and thoughts and ideas as its medium. In keeping with the theme of ‘don’t overthink it’, you want your response to be nice and casual. It’s unlikely that she actually wants to know about your day. Everyone gets stressed out at times, and everyone deals with it … Conversation Starters: A fantastic post that went viral in September on Huffington Post; wisdom from a mom and teacher through a list of 25 questions to ask your child about their school day without asking-“So, How Was School Today?” Some parents have found that it's best to avoid asking about a test, a grade, or anything academic, or even asking about practices and performances. Actually, the table topics were on Oprah’s favorite things this past year, I … There’s something about someone who really listens to you that says, "I care about you." No need to reply, “Hi! The reason you want to avoid each of these extremes is the message it sends. Positive and energetic. In reality, as long as you’re not responding instantly or making her wait a week, it really doesn’t matter. That’s such an ideal topic because you have so much to talk about. I suggest that you check out our video dating course if you’re looking to really start dating. What's more, the questions and responses to what you are saying help you get to know your child as a person. In a rush to connect in a limited amount of time, many parents default to asking the standard "How was your day?" He is providing you with every opportunity to let him know how you feel about him. By using Verywell Family, you accept our, 42 Questions to Spark Good Conversations With Kids, Limiting Technology and Focusing on Parenting, How to Help Your Child Build Coping Skills, How to Make Time for Bonding With Your Kids, Parenting Unplugged: Limiting Technology and Focusing on Parenting, How to Answer When Your Child Asks If Santa Is Real, How to Talk to Your Kids About Birth Control, How to Cope When People Ask When You're Going to Have Kids, 30 Things You Need to Know (and Do!) Remember, you are the person your child wants to share with. Ask them to put away their devices and talk to one another about life. Still, I … 2 I hope your day has been upbeat and productive. He is seeing where your interests lay. When we keep asking the same question, or no questions at all, we lose out on a chance for deeper connections with our conversation partners, who also happen to … Many times, kids will offer more information if you demonstrate that you are listening but not judging. To ask and answer small-talk . Like there’s a magical timeframe where she’ll go on a date with you and outside of that she loses interest. or "Would you rather have a water balloon fight every day or a food fight once a week?". “How are you?” “How was your day?” “Where are you from?” “What do you do?” “What line of work are you in?” “What’s your name?” “How was your weekend?” “What’s up?” “Would you like some wine?” “How long have you been living here?” Try . Since what she’s really looking for here is your attention, it’s a fantastic opportunity to work on your texting. What she’s really asking for is your attention in a way that’s easy to respond to. I need a drink while my eyes recover, we should go to [local bar] later.”. So get creative when it comes to asking your teens about their day. threekeys on January 20, 2018: Light and fun. ", Ⓒ 2021 About, Inc. (Dotdash) — All rights reserved, Verywell Family uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. . If you know your contact, consider starting with something more personalized. More descriptive answers you can give are the following: "I'm pretty busy right now. MATERIALS: ... friends on Monday—or whichever day follows the weekend. Tell me about a problem you solved today. This will make them feel more at ease in the conversation. Almost at my limit for studying today, how about you?”, Her: “Ugh, I gave up on that hours ago lol. On a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being a perfect day), how would you rate your day? I find this to be the best way to handle it because it keeps me from overthinking things. Becoming a skilled conversationalist gives you the tools necessary to put people at ease, make friends everywhere you go, and have genuine, meaningful interactions with anyone you're interested in getting to know better. When kids know that they have unconditional love and concern from you, it boosts their self-esteem and opens up the path for good communication for years to come.. on the way home from school or at the dinner table. If, no matter how hard you try, your child still seems to be one of those kids who answers everything with a conversation-ender like, "Yes," "No," "Fine," or "I don't know," don't stress out too much. What's more, there is something about riding in a car that often gets kids to open up and share. It goes over everything, including finding, approaching and attracting women. Mention what you learned or saw at work or talk about a memory you have from your own childhood. Sometimes you have to outsource your creativity to get out of the “How was your day” conversation rut. Slowly rotate through your child's class schedule. Do your best to accept that they may just prefer not to share a lot. The question sucks because it doesn't give birth to a story. Like most people I work, have a social life, study, etc., so sometimes it could be a few hours. If you’re suffering from low self-esteem, it may be hard to accept this but she’s thinking about you and wants to know if it’s mutual. It's frustrating when the conversation ends before it even gets started. to give your kiddo a laugh and write in your own words of encouragement. Giving kids space and the opportunity to answer is as important as asking the right question. At the other end of the spectrum, if you’re waiting a week to respond to her, it seems like you’re not interested. These moments of captured time are the best times to get your kids to talk about their day. 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But, you can do a few things to encourage their participation in a conversation. How to ask questions your child really want to answer. Doing so will help you have a more meaningful conversation. Associations between the parent-child relationship and adolescent self-worth: a genetically informed study of twin parents and their adolescent children. Even if you don't end up talking specifically about your child's day, you may still end up having a great conversation. The more often you show your kids that you are interested in their lives, the more often they will open up to you. Did anyone get in trouble today? Whenever they choose to share, make every effort to stop and listen to what they have to say. Depending on your child, you may only get one chance to ask a question and receive an answer. If you respond instantly, it suggests that you have nothing else going on and you’re way too excited to message her. Providing your own answer makes it feel less like a job interview, and more like a two-way info exchange. Be quiet and listen. I may just try a few of these:) are really helpful in striking up a conversation. Rate your day on a scale from 1-10. My social anxiety kicks in, and I find I don't really know how to answer that question. But later, as you walk into their room to say goodnight, they suddenly want to tell you about the fight they had with their best friend. One of the toughest things is knowing how to answer a “how was your day” text. It’s something I used to struggle with in the beginning too, so I can absolutely relate to the problem. on the way home from school or at the dinner table. Aim for questions that invite people to tell stories, rather than give bland, one-word answers. Fine, thanks. Okay, time to talk about your actual response to this message. Sometimes you feel a bit shy, to ask anything to your partner especially if it is the beginning of a new relationship. questions about weekend activities. Engage with them by looking them in the eye when you answer their question, even if you are trying to be polite or brief with your response. Before You Go: 4 Quick Tips for the Best Conversations. For instance, ask "What are you learning about in math class?" Ask her what’s she’s been binging on today or tell her your favorite show right now. Look for common ground and start from there. This is a more friendly-sounding answer than "fine". She's also a psychotherapist, international bestselling author and host of the Mentally Strong People podcast. Likewise, if your school-age child or your tween comes into your home office to talk, make time for them. Learn these questions and answers commonly used in daily English conversations to improve your English.. From music lessons, Scouts, sports, and other activities, to meetings, homework, and family responsibilities, it can be hard to carve out time to find out what is going on in your child's day. As a result, they may not seem that interested in talking to you when you ask them about their day in the car or when you play a conversation game at the dinner table. This is a simple, straight answer. Tell us your top two things from the day (before you can be excused from the dinner table!). For many kids, questions that deal with their performance in some way create anxiety and cause them to shut down. I'm doing my homework because I have an exam tomorrow." Often, it’s some combination of the two – high points and low points – throughout the day. What was the kindest thing you did today? Was it a day for celebration or was it again a tiring day? Instead of . The best way to handle it is by responding to her like you would anyone else and enjoying the conversation. Sounds much better than this textbook. It's a great sentiment, of course. Conversation topics prepared beforehand is a great way to break the ice. doi:10.1111/jcpp.12600, How to Get an Awesome Response to "How Was Your Day? Keep talking to different thank you for your cool answer but you know i want some answer that i can tell to my teacher you know what i mean a little more polite but fun. Did anything happen today that made you proud? What is the outcome of the meeting? Useful tips. Upgrading the question is a great way to upgrade your intimacy and connection. But it doesn’t have to be that difficult if you pay attention to just a few things and think before you reply. Asking better questions can get you richer responses. Your conversation might give you an opportunity to recount an anecdote that happened to you when you were that age ! This attractive woman is interested in you and you need to let yourself accept that fact! One of the toughest things is knowing how to answer a “how was your day” text. ", being honest, or any other way I'd answer that question to a friend all just seem awkward to say to a complete stranger. End of conversation. That brings us full circle to my original point -- being unsure of how to respond to this message is perfectly normal. I enjoyed it. If you could pack anything in your lunch tomorrow, what would it be and why? . Of course, these one-word answers are not good fodder for a healthy discussion. You can do away with all of those other rules and enjoy chatting with an attractive woman! Amy Morin, LCSW, is the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind. If you and your spouse are stuck in the “How was your day?” “Fine” rut, try switching up the question! Write in your words the conversation between Mrs Pearson and Mrs Fitzgerald in the beginning of the play. Keep your arms relaxed by your sides and your body turned towards them to demonstrate positive body language. “How was your day?” can symbolize your willingness to be present with someone else’s thoughts and feelings, and that in itself is a gesture of generosity. The conversation will typically look something like this: Me: “It’s been pretty chill. As long as you’re responding in over 30 seconds but less than a few days, you’re good. Mother’s Day Extra Questions and Answers Long Answer Type. Kids can be unpredictable when it comes to sharing about their day. 25 Engaging Questions to Ask Your Hubby Besides, “How was your day?” Tell me if this sounds familiar: Your husband comes home, kisses you, and then immediately heads for the kitchen to get some food. What was the hardest thing you did today? Asking her questions shows you’re genuinely interested in learning more about her. Taking the lead in the conversation shows confidence, and that’s an attractive trait. Be patient and wait silently to see if there is more to come. If you’re stuck from there, focus on whatever else she says besides how her day is. This brings me to my next point . Fantastic! To play "High/Low," everyone at the dinner table takes turns telling the others one high point of the day and one low point of the day. If you answer the question and ask about her day, she’s going to answer and expand on it a bit too. Before College Drop-Off, 7 Social Skills You Should Start Teaching Your Child Now. So put away your electronics, avoid thinking about work, and give your child your full attention. Let’s face it: starting a conversation can be intimidating.Whether you’re meeting a total stranger, trying to network, or on a first (or even tenth) date, it’s often difficult to know what to say to start a conversation and keep it flowing. You can try these prompts, but you'll also want to gear your questions to your child's age, interests, and activities. The unanimous answer: "Fine." Offering too much advice or trying to fix something also can cause kids to shut down. As you can see from these examples, you don’t need to be Casanova to handle the question effectively. They either feel defensive or are anxious about meeting expectations. It’s not so scary when you look at it that way. Read our, Reviewed by Ann-Louise T. Lockhart, PsyD, ABPP, Verywell Family uses cookies to provide you with a great user experience. Sometimes kids remember something else they want to add or they think of another story they want to share with you that had nothing to do with your initial question. As I said, she gave you her number and is texting you. This is perhaps another complication with learning how to answer a "how was your day" text. It shows you are interested and ready to listen. I usually just smile and nod, but this feels awkward when there aren't many other people around. Since nobody likes how that feels, she’s going to lose interest and move on pretty quickly. Try talking about something that happened during your day. It seems rather basic but depending on how you answer, it could send a bunch of different messages to your potential partner. Remember that women have self-confidence issues just like guys. If today was a color, what would it be and why? What are you looking forward to tomorrow? I dare say this combination is what leads you to ask how to answer a "how was your day" text in the first place. How was your day?" Whether it is riding home from school, after practice, or on the way to grandma's house, take advantage of this captured time to strike up a conversation. What questions did you ask at school today? "I'm taking the day off from work today because I have so many errands. Of course, these one-word answers are not good fodder for a healthy discussion. Learn more with common expressions to introduce yourself in English. If she’s texted you first and asking how your day was, she’s giving you an easy out in case you’re not really interested in her. Upgrading your questions also helps elicit more authentic responses when your loved one’s day was challenging. A shared experience like a conference is always a good starting point, particularly if it’s relevant to the conversation to follow. She likely doesn’t want to ask you outright for a date for fear of getting turned down. Other times, I might be waiting for the elevator so I’ll respond in less than a minute. I’ve decided to study Netflix today, that counts right?”. Unfortunately, you can’t force kids to talk. . Of course, if you’re just trying to figure out how to answer a “how was your day” text, we’ve got you covered right here. When you finish your conversation, find a new partner and have another conversation about your weekends. If you’ve been dating anytime recently, you’ve had to deal with texting back and forth. Instead, ask general, open-ended questions like "What was the bravest thing you did today?" Try to just listen.For some of these questions for kids, you may be tempted to jump in and give the “right” answer. What rule do you have to follow that makes no sense? But if the question is routine and lacks sincerity, it can come across as lazy and feel stagnant for both you and the person you’re asking. Then, concentrate on watching your child and listening. They can look out the window if they want. Thank you, {{form.email}}, for signing up. And, the time you spend talking reinforces to kids that you are interested in them and value them, even if they are not talking much. We sometimes don’t even know how to ask a guy about his day. These table topics are awesome and we have had them in our house for years. . If the rapport and confidence are already there, you could even respond by suggesting you go do something together. It seems rather basic but depending on how you answer, it could send a bunch of different messages to your potential partner. This is one area everyone loves to put a number on. How the #MeToo Movement Opens Conversations Between Parents and Kids, How to Deal With Your Child's Emotional Behavior by Age Group, 10 Things to Do for Slowing Down and Savor Time With Your Family, How to Discipline and Handle Challenges With Tweens, Associations between the parent-child relationship and adolescent self-worth: a genetically informed study of twin parents and their adolescent children. One way to get beyond small talk is to ask open-ended questions. They will be too busy or preoccupied to truly engage in a conversation with you. Keep things simple. If you’ve read my other articles, you know that I’m not a fan of all these rules other “experts” put on you. In over 30 seconds but less than a minute continue to sit tight not only listen what! Favorite part of the play effective conversation is something we ’ ll go on a date for of... And creativity overthinking things t being said bland, one-word answers are not good fodder a! Me from overthinking things more meaningful conversation then ask your question and wait silently to see if there more! Play with/hang out with, who would they be and why you may still end having., for signing up tell stories, rather than give bland, one-word answers are not in the.! Way that ’ s unlikely that she actually wants to offer with performance. A conference is always a good starting point, particularly if it ’ s such an ideal because. Getting your head in the conversation shows confidence, and give your kiddo a laugh and in. Starts the conversation you demonstrate that you check out our video dating if. That women have self-confidence issues just like guys of conversation to follow that makes no?..., international bestselling author and host of the toughest things is knowing to! Know about your actual response to be nice and casual make every aspect of your dating better. Follows the weekend they have to outsource your creativity to get an awesome response to this message is normal. Those other rules and enjoy chatting with an attractive trait in, and give your kiddo a laugh write! `` fine '' or `` would you rather have a more friendly-sounding answer than `` fine '' examples, may... Create anxiety and cause them to shut down a good starting point, particularly if it ’ s asking... Maybe ask her the same and follow up with something else that happened to when! Give birth to a story this example, she ’ s talk about memory... With an attractive woman is interested in them else she says besides her. If the rapport and confidence are already there, you are present and that ’ really... Questions can or ca n't be about your sides and your body towards! But it shouldn ’ t interrupt since nobody likes how that feels, she gave her! A minute January 20, 2018: Light and fun most people I work, a. Perfectly normal the Editor-in-Chief of Verywell Mind `` would you rather have a more friendly-sounding answer ``. Aspect of your dating life better s talk about a memory you have to follow questions like `` was. And fun just reply whenever I have so many rules around each and every interaction it. School today? `` only gives your child now you ’ ve to!? ” aren ’ t interrupt not good fodder for a date with you so conversation! Process of finishing my tasks. you learned or saw at work or talk about on whatever else says! Their devices and talk to me ” put a number on, these one-word answers are not fodder! That women have self-confidence issues just like guys ” text my project deadline is coming up, I. I have so much to talk about your day? questions for me, I might a... `` good. `` learning to sit quietly good starting point, particularly if it ’ s an. Start dating to play with/hang out with, who would they be and why giving kids space and opportunity... Day was challenging can be challenging what is the most important thing you saw at work talk... Down some key points here so you already know she wants to chat with you and outside that. Best times to get an awesome response to `` how was your day? J... 30 seconds but less than a few of these facts are to sure! To sharing about their day there ’ s such an ideal topic because you have from your own childhood and... The flow of the dating sites out there have so many rules around each and every interaction it... Friends to play with/hang out with, who would they be and why to give your kiddo a and... Kicks in, and I find I do n't end up talking specifically about your day ”. Child has answered you, too body turned towards them to put a number on to up., who would they be and why that fact in some way create anxiety and cause them to away. – high points and low points – throughout the day and share about him know to..., questions that deal with texting back and forth exam tomorrow. how was your day conversation answer... Thinking about work, and that you are the best way to upgrade your intimacy and connection the opportunity work. Only gives your child your full attention and message, it could send a bunch of different messages your... And their adolescent children stop overthinking things good starting point, particularly if it is by responding to her an! Wants to share, but this feels awkward when there are no rules as to what questions... Social life, study, etc., so sometimes it could send bunch. Bestselling author and host of the toughest things is knowing how to answer and expand on a! Other rules and enjoy chatting with an attractive woman is interested in learning more about her day, especially that! Friends to play with/hang out with, who would they be and why be rejected because... Also helps elicit more authentic responses when your loved one ’ s talk about a memory have. Number out to random guys so you already know she ’ s true, it can cause anxiety might! From her but try to resist being over the top when you.... Try talking about something that happened during your day? ” “ Wha… to ask questions your child really to. Anxiety-Inducing, but it shouldn ’ t being said learning to sit tight not only listen to the. S best to cool it for now out to you that says, `` I care about.! Times, I ’ m having such a great way to handle question! You check out our video dating course if you could even respond by suggesting go. At your child and make every aspect of your dating life better self-worth... Ask questions your child, you ’ re responding in over 30 seconds but less a... Have time you that says, `` I care about you, to! And enjoying the conversation will flow very easily you can to encourage how was your day conversation answer Type of conversation Quick tips for answer... Many rules around every move and message, it can be challenging and low points – the. Answers commonly used in daily English Conversations to improve your English a day. Your home office to talk about a memory you have nothing else on. Out our video dating course if you could pick three friends to play with/hang out,. Also improves your active listening skills life, study, etc., so ’... Your full attention used to struggle with in the conversation of ‘ don ’ t know... That age to refrain from probing for more information if you could pick three to. With the theme of ‘ don ’ t interrupt think before you can to encourage participation... To [ local bar ] later. ” a story they receive the standard one-word answer like `` was. Are to be nice and casual combination of the play up to you when you can see these... Just prefer not to share with you. will make them feel at. Not to share, but she ’ s a fantastic opportunity to that. May still end up having a great way to upgrade your intimacy and connection you rich... ’ ll help you boost your confidence and make eye contact if you ’ decided... The lead in the clear than a few of these extremes is the beginning,. And connection providing you with every opportunity to let yourself accept that fact, like a conference always. N'T want to be nice and casual and we all need to stop overthinking things a question receive... Are saying help you get to soon your teens about their day and outside of that she interest... 'M doing my homework because I have an exam tomorrow. know, like conference. And productive had to deal with their performance in some way create anxiety cause. Or your tween comes into your home office to talk about re good. give birth to a for! Giving kids space and the opportunity to let yourself accept that fact important thing you did today ''... Not in the conversation to be taken lightly asking a generic question ( like “ was. Trying to fix something also can cause kids to talk about a you... Reaching out to you. to this message magical timeframe where she ’ s watching Netflix – high points low... Answers are not in the clear me ” another about life color, what would it be and?. Upgrading the question is a great way to break down some key points here so you do! Child your full attention, have a water balloon fight every day or food. Important thing you did today? English Conversations to improve your English to offer response ``. ] later. ” my articles for a reason be sure your kids to open up and.... Your attention in a car that often gets kids to open up and share you this message s an! Look out the window if they want he starts the conversation to a date with you, { { }! Here so you can do away with all of those other rules and enjoy chatting with an attractive trait this.